If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy:
- you have probably already thought about your options and are ready to begin exploring these
- you might be struggling with what is the best choice for you and your baby
- you might have considered adoption but just don't know where to start.
Pregnancy brings about many changes, both physically and emotionally.
It is often a very confusing time as you learn about your options -- this is very normal to feel.
Who Can I Talk to about adoption or parenting?
Sunrise's birth parent counselors can help you decide if adoption is the choice for you. If you are wanting to talk to a birth parent counselor, call the Sunrise office at 604-984-2488 or our toll free line at 1-888-984-2488 or email lisa@sunriseadoption.com.
Do you have to have your mind made up before talking to someone about adoption?
No, it is actually rare for any birth mother to be sure about adoption in the first few phone calls. Exploring adoption is a personal process that varies from one individual to the next. The birth parent counselor will help you objectively explore adoption to see if it is the best choice for you and your baby.
A Sunrise counselor can:
- Explore parenting and adoption to determine if that is the best decision for you and your baby.
- Discuss parenting resources that are available to you
- Explore family support and friend support for parenting and adoption.
- Inform you of the details of the adoption process
- Help you develop an adoption plan around your needs
- Introduce you to the adoptive family you have selected.
- Be your guide and support system during your pregnancy.
- Can help you deal with family members and friends who are not supportive of adoption.
How do I decide if adoption is right for me and my baby?
The decision to parent or choose adoption is often a very difficult decision. The very reason that this decision is difficult should encourage you to explore your options thoroughly. A Sunrise counselor can help you see and feel all sides.
Are people right when they say that this is selfish of me? How should I respond when they say something like that?
It is important for you to surround yourself with people who are supportive of you and of adoption. Letting people know the reasons you chose adoption is a way to help others have more knowledge about adoption and how truly special it is to everyone involved.
Adoption is your decision and therefore you are the only one who can make the decision. You are allowing a couple to become a family and your child to have everything that life has to offer. Have pride in knowing it takes a very strong person to recognize that adoption is the best option for the child.
It is important to understand that most people do not understand adoption. When people don't understand something, they can be very wrong and hurtful in their judgment.
It is effective to share with these individuals that you will involve them in your parenting/adoption decision only if they are open and supportive to what is best for you and your baby.
Will I regret it, if I choose adoption?
There are many emotions that correspond with adoption. Regret is one of those emotions that is unpredictable. You may for example regret that you weren't able to offer everything you want for your child.
One way most birth mothers feel good about adoption is when they find a wonderful family to adopt their baby. Knowing that you can choose a family that you are comfortable with and creating an adoption plan that meets your needs will help you feel confident about your adoption.
Adoption is a very difficult decision and it is normal to question your thoughts and feeling throughout the process.
When you think about the reasons that you have considered and chosen adoption you will most likely find that it was the best decision that you could have made for everyone involved.
Knowing that you made a positive decision out of love and in the best interest of your child, will help you cope with any feelings or thought of regret should you experience this.
If you decide to place your child for adoption:
- You will choose the parents for your baby
- You may have as much or as little contact with them as you like
- Together with the adopting family, you will decide how much and what kind of ongoing contact you will have as the child grows up
- You will have care and support during your pregnancy
- We will help you find the support you need after the baby is born.